blog 001
My Computer Room portal (/r)
I miss the days when we had a computer room and the only games I could play were on a disc that went into a dusty computer tower. When I didn’t know there was more to a computer besides those games and Microsoft paint.
We had 3 different and distinct computer rooms growing up. 1 in Indiana, 1 in an apartment we lived in after first moving to Florida, and 1 in the house we lost in the 2008 economic crash. My most favorite was the one in Indiana.
I moved at a very young age to Florida so it always surprises me how many memories I still have from my short time in the mid-west. The cluster of memories that stick out the most to me are the moments I spent in our first floor of our family home. To set the scene, the house was actually a 2 story with the entrance at ground level but my parents converted the garage into a second living room where our TV lived. so…it was a 3 story house I guess? not that relevant.
In the back of that garage/living room was a smaller dark space that homed the washer and dryer and in the far right corner was a computer desk with a real life cube computer! I even remember some floppy disks laying in the shadows. Thinking back on that space it was VERY dark and it felt abandoned. Almost like a secret hacker lair.
I don’t think me or my sister ever went in there without each other. It was kind of scary but at the same time that was the computer room! Our only chance to play obscure games like Reader Rabbit. Because if we were gonna have games they had to be educational.
It was a simple space and mom and dad were always nearby in case a sudden noise spooked us, but the thrill of being there outweighed our fears. I don’t have too many memories of being in that dingey “closet” so we must not have been in there THAT often, but why are those memories so vivid? Why can’t I stop thinking about those liminal spaces?
Sure, I miss them. Sure its a childhood memory of course I will think about them often.
But why, oh why, do I ache for these spaces?
I know the answer has hit all of us square in the schnoz. The internet has pretty much ruined everything across the board. Those types of spaces dont exist anymore. I cant lock myself in my garage to do a small task because I know I am just playing pretend. I know the moment I go back inside I am gonna pick up my phone, answer my mom’s text, look up a recipe to cook for dinner, check my feeds.
There is no longer a reality of me leaving the computer room with my sister to go play outside with lightning bugs. There is no leaving the creepy closet to go have a dinner free of discussing what happened on the other side of the world. There is no leaving my childhood computer room to go play games with my imagination.
It’s enough to make me sick thinking about it.
So..I made a website. I made a website that was hooman made, and is not really much of anything. Just a place to explore and get lost in. A place to listen to the ramblings of a young adult. My version of my old creepy computer room, if you will, where my projects and maybe some made up worlds live. A liminal space that feels oddly nostalgic and comforting.
Welcome to my small portal. I hope you enjoy your time here while it lasts.
K
